So now my mind is a wandering...

After completing a total of 15 plus magnets, an art panel, and the creation of my blog, my mind is wandering...the bowl, enchiladas, and 3 episodes of "Weeds" may or may have not contributed.  Perhaps it was the Ipod and it's selection process.

I have been so quick to blame my (former) job, weather, and depression on my lack of motivation on art project and music writing abilities.  I just realized, my Ipod is to blame.  Picking the same songs over and over and back to back songs off of the same album.  I didn't put weeks and weeks of songs from my collection on my computer to listen to 2 lessons of "Singing for Dummies" in a row.  I want to hear "Battery" by Metallica followed by "Mother Mother" by Tracey Bohnam..

...today, it's delivering, metal, rap, rock, comedy, it's playing some good shit, and in the proper order; thank you Ipod.


I realize, I am writing the same shit every other self loathing fuck does, but, It's my blog and it will come along at it's own pace. 


So today I went to an employment agency, one run by the state...I was excited and a bit nervous on my way there, but as soon as I entered the door, many apprehensions went away.  Straight ahead are 2 people behind a desk.  The way I see it, these people deal with it all.  The craziest fucks in the city.  I respect that she greeted me with a smile, I dug that she was nice too!  Was she new?

Upon first glance of the place, I see it all.  There is a dude that looks like he stepped out of Highlander, long hair, trench coat...might as well have had some fucking armor on, wouldn't matter anyways, we aren't in a church and I have no intentions of cutting off your head.  There was a small framed Hispanic lady wearing Spongebob pajamas and an inside out sweatshirt?  I was worried about my khakis and button down shirt without a tie. HA!

After 3 or 4 minutes of being set down at a computer terminal, and angry man came back scolding me for sitting down, even though the chair I sat in was pulled out for me, I apologized (?) just being courteous, and he curtly reminded me that it was fine.  He was frustrated, apparently the dude next to me is capable of peeing clean and that is it.  As I was taking my math assessment, they were still on step on, putting in number 15  of 18 jobs from last year alone!   His phone rang..."SIR TURN OFF YOUR PHONE!"
He yelled back, "Sorry!" and ran outside to take the call, 10 times this happened, I finished the reading one too quickly because I couldn't focus.  Bullshit I know, but that guy didn't even know how to tell ( or what it even meant) to have CAP Lock on.

SHOE IN

If peeing in a cup cleanly is all you need your employees to do to trust them, I am not sure that is a company I want to work for.  They don't care how stupid, abusive, ignorant, incapable you are, you must not smoke pot in your free time.  Alcohol is okay.

Either way, I will do what I need to do.  I take a career exploration class starting wed. next week.  I am pretty excited about that, its the first time I had heard since being a kid that it was okay not to know what you wanted to do. 

So on my exit debrief, after signing up for that class, the job coach or whatever they are called, pulled up my job matches.

"This one pays 9.50 and it....ah, its in retail...ah."

It was a position for an attendant at an adult bookstore...breaking dollar bills for the booths,  and mopping up the jizz of a closet case after a random encounter?  Why not, I am ready for new things.


Little boxes on the hillside, Little boxes made of ticky tacky
Little boxes on the hillside, little boxes all the same
 There’s a green one and a pink one and a blue one and a yellow one
And they’re all made out of ticky tacky and they all look just the same.

Dear blog cherry...it's time to pop you.

Since I knew about the internet in about 8th grade, (I am 30 now) I have been amazed by it.  The first thing I ever saw internet related in person besides my uncles porn collection, was the computer tech at school "dialing in" and using it...as...get this, a phone book!  I volunteered my number in a kiss ass fashion as hope full get first dibs, or a little extra time at the controls.

No dice, I didn't even get to click the fucking enter key, and there it was, my phone number and address for the entire class to see!  No one cared, why would they.  I have to say that since halfway through my freshman year of college, I have been without Internet access in one form or another for a total of 2 weeks; that's it.  Some days I log in once, and consider myself disconnected for the rest of the day...but I now have a fancy new phone with Internet access so it's rare, but I do make the effort regularly these days.

I pulled that trigger.  My first blog.  I don't know what has been stopping me, besides myself.  I am quite the Internet savvy person, I thought, but when I searched for places to star a blog, clicking create profile was a hard task to complete. So, today, I say pop.  Middle finger at that create profile button, and post number one is in the books.  That wasn't so hard.

Now what?